1 00:00:12,310 --> 00:00:17,780 ♪ I bet we've been together for a million years ♪ 2 00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:23,450 ♪ and I'll bet we'll be together for a million more ♪ 3 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,980 ♪ oh, it's like I started breathing ♪ 4 00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:28,780 ♪ on the night we kissed 5 00:00:28,810 --> 00:00:34,010 ♪ and I can't remember what I ever did before ♪ 6 00:00:34,050 --> 00:00:37,180 ♪ what would we do, baby 7 00:00:37,210 --> 00:00:39,880 ♪ without us? 8 00:00:39,910 --> 00:00:42,550 ♪ what would we do, baby 9 00:00:42,580 --> 00:00:45,210 ♪ without us? 10 00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:47,880 ♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪ 11 00:00:47,910 --> 00:00:49,880 ♪ we can't love each other through ♪ 12 00:00:49,910 --> 00:00:51,350 ♪ ooh-hoo 13 00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:54,210 ♪ what would we do, baby 14 00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:57,080 ♪ without us? 15 00:00:57,110 --> 00:01:00,610 ♪ sha-la-la-la 16 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,750 Well, dad, you can breathe easy. 17 00:01:08,780 --> 00:01:11,010 Your worries are over. 18 00:01:11,050 --> 00:01:12,680 Great. 19 00:01:12,710 --> 00:01:16,780 Uh, you are looking at a young man 20 00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,580 on the verge of becoming independently wealthy 21 00:01:18,610 --> 00:01:19,750 at the age of 18. 22 00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:21,480 Congratulations! 23 00:01:24,410 --> 00:01:25,710 Come on, dad, 24 00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:27,590 aren't you gonna ask me what this is all about? 25 00:01:27,610 --> 00:01:29,550 All right. What's it all about? 26 00:01:30,550 --> 00:01:32,750 Guess. 27 00:01:32,780 --> 00:01:34,610 Alex... 28 00:01:34,650 --> 00:01:37,180 Dad, the student council has granted me 29 00:01:37,210 --> 00:01:39,950 the exclusive right to sell senior class souvenirs. 30 00:01:39,980 --> 00:01:42,410 Class rings? T-shirts? That kind of thing? 31 00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:44,210 Oh, sure, sure. 32 00:01:44,250 --> 00:01:46,710 Another man might settle for selling that kind of stuff, 33 00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:50,210 but I'm planning to expand this into a major enterprise. 34 00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:53,710 A full line of Harding High class of '84 products. 35 00:01:55,250 --> 00:01:57,910 Coffee mugs. Bookmarks. Frisbees... 36 00:01:57,950 --> 00:02:00,180 That's just the start! 37 00:02:00,210 --> 00:02:03,080 Let me know when I can quit my job. 38 00:02:03,110 --> 00:02:04,250 I will. 39 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,780 Uh, dad, there's just one other thing. 40 00:02:06,810 --> 00:02:08,110 In order to get started in this, 41 00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:11,410 I have make an initial investment of $100. 42 00:02:11,450 --> 00:02:13,480 Where are you gonna get the $100? 43 00:02:16,810 --> 00:02:18,050 From my partner. 44 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,610 Who's your partner? 45 00:02:19,650 --> 00:02:22,750 Well, dad, let's put it this way... 46 00:02:22,780 --> 00:02:26,110 You're wearing his shirt... 47 00:02:26,150 --> 00:02:27,150 Partner. 48 00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:30,080 No, thanks, Alex. 49 00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:31,680 Aw, come on, dad. No. 50 00:02:31,710 --> 00:02:33,010 Think about it! 51 00:02:33,050 --> 00:02:37,050 "Keaton and Son... The Souvenir People." 52 00:02:39,010 --> 00:02:40,680 It's the American dream, dad. 53 00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:44,380 If you say no to this, you're saying no to America. 54 00:02:44,410 --> 00:02:46,280 What you're saying is you'll put up 50 bucks, 55 00:02:46,310 --> 00:02:47,980 and I'll put up 50 bucks, is that it? 56 00:02:48,010 --> 00:02:50,780 Dad, if you're gonna take a hard line on this, 57 00:02:50,810 --> 00:02:53,310 we might as well... 58 00:02:53,350 --> 00:02:55,950 Just dissolve the partnership right now. 59 00:02:55,980 --> 00:02:58,550 Oh, so... so I'm supposed to put up the whole $100? 60 00:02:58,580 --> 00:03:00,610 It's a deal. 61 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:07,350 Steven, how can you eat at a time like this? 62 00:03:07,380 --> 00:03:10,450 I don't know. I just go on instinct. 63 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:11,980 My mother's gonna be here any minute. 64 00:03:12,010 --> 00:03:13,080 Aren't you nervous? 65 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,110 I'm covering. 66 00:03:15,150 --> 00:03:16,950 A little tense this morning, aren't we, mom? 67 00:03:18,150 --> 00:03:19,980 Okay, I-i may be a little anxious, 68 00:03:20,010 --> 00:03:21,910 but it's the first time my mom's come to stay 69 00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:24,880 since she and dad got s-s... Se... s... s... 70 00:03:24,910 --> 00:03:26,210 Separated. 71 00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:27,810 Thank you. 72 00:03:27,850 --> 00:03:29,510 Come on, Elyse, relax. 73 00:03:29,550 --> 00:03:31,010 I know it's a difficult thing 74 00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:33,250 to watch your parents' marriage break up. 75 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:37,050 Their marriage didn't break up. They're only s-s-s... se... 76 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:38,450 Separated. 77 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:39,680 Thank you. 78 00:03:39,710 --> 00:03:41,910 Isn't grandma here yet? 79 00:03:41,950 --> 00:03:43,250 Steven: Not yet. 80 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:44,980 I like when grandma visits. 81 00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:47,950 She really knows how to spoil someone. 82 00:03:48,980 --> 00:03:50,150 Oh, she's here! 83 00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:51,410 Ah, oh, okay. Oh, oh, oh. Now, kids, 84 00:03:51,450 --> 00:03:53,880 I want you to take it a little easy on grandma this time. 85 00:03:53,910 --> 00:03:55,417 Why? What do you mean, mom? 86 00:03:55,450 --> 00:03:59,680 Well, you know, grandma and grandpa are s-s-s... se... 87 00:03:59,710 --> 00:04:01,010 Separated. Separated.Separated. 88 00:04:01,050 --> 00:04:03,110 Thank you. 89 00:04:03,150 --> 00:04:06,211 And I think we need to pitch in and help boost up her spirit. 90 00:04:06,260 --> 00:04:08,885 She's likely to be a little more depressed and unhappy 91 00:04:08,914 --> 00:04:10,280 than you're used to seeing her. 92 00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:12,950 Hello, hello, hello! 93 00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:14,650 Hi, grandma! 94 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:15,710 Oh, Alex, hello. 95 00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:17,880 Well, uh, we've got to get going. 96 00:04:17,910 --> 00:04:19,210 Kate, I'll see you later tonight. 97 00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:20,550 I've got to get the kids to school. 98 00:04:20,580 --> 00:04:21,910 Come on. Bye, babes. 99 00:04:21,950 --> 00:04:22,910 Jennifer: Bye. 100 00:04:22,950 --> 00:04:24,480 Steven: Don't forget your coats. 101 00:04:24,510 --> 00:04:26,950 Bye-bye, Kate. Honey. 102 00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:29,680 Elyse. 103 00:04:29,710 --> 00:04:31,580 Oh. 104 00:04:31,610 --> 00:04:32,880 How you feelin', mom? 105 00:04:32,910 --> 00:04:35,280 Great. How are you feeling? 106 00:04:35,310 --> 00:04:36,680 Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine. 107 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:40,750 I was just asking 'cause you and dad are s-s-s... se... 108 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,080 Separated? 109 00:04:42,110 --> 00:04:43,510 Thank you. 110 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:46,080 That's a real difficult word for me to say. 111 00:04:46,110 --> 00:04:47,910 How are you on the word "divorced"? 112 00:04:47,950 --> 00:04:48,950 Mom! 113 00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:51,180 It's almost final. 114 00:04:51,210 --> 00:04:52,650 "Almost" is not final. 115 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:54,480 Let's not close the door completely. 116 00:04:54,510 --> 00:04:56,150 I mean, you and dad might reconcile, 117 00:04:56,180 --> 00:04:57,510 move back into the house. 118 00:04:57,550 --> 00:04:58,950 We sold the house. 119 00:04:58,980 --> 00:05:00,580 You sold the house?! 120 00:05:00,610 --> 00:05:02,710 My room, too? 121 00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:09,980 Hello? 122 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:13,750 Uh, yeah, she is. Just a minute. 123 00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,280 It's for you. 124 00:05:15,310 --> 00:05:17,510 It's a man. 125 00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:20,480 I gave some friends this number. I hope it's all right. 126 00:05:20,510 --> 00:05:21,850 Sure. 127 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,480 Hello? 128 00:05:23,510 --> 00:05:24,510 Oh, hi, Phillip. 129 00:05:24,550 --> 00:05:26,810 "Phillip"? 130 00:05:26,850 --> 00:05:30,110 Lunch today? Ooh, that would be lovely. 131 00:05:30,150 --> 00:05:31,680 Well, I'll see you later, honey. 132 00:05:31,710 --> 00:05:33,210 "Honey"? 133 00:05:35,150 --> 00:05:37,480 Phillip, you shouldn't say such things. 134 00:05:43,780 --> 00:05:45,280 Dad... dad! 135 00:05:45,310 --> 00:05:46,680 I just got back from the wholesalers 136 00:05:46,710 --> 00:05:48,010 with some prototypes. 137 00:05:48,050 --> 00:05:49,180 I'm telling you, 138 00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:51,850 these things are surefire bestsellers. 139 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,650 Okay? First we have 140 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,410 the official Harding High class of '84... 141 00:05:56,450 --> 00:05:58,380 Duck caller. 142 00:06:01,580 --> 00:06:03,410 We better shut the door. 143 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:08,050 We do not want any ducks in here. 144 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:09,380 Look at this. 145 00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:12,650 Class of '84... Windshield wiper. 146 00:06:15,110 --> 00:06:17,380 Dad, I am gonna sell class of '84 pasta makers, 147 00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:20,610 class of '84 glow-in-the-dark shoe trees. 148 00:06:22,210 --> 00:06:24,580 Class of '84 charcoal briquettes! 149 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:27,910 Well, what do you think? 150 00:06:27,950 --> 00:06:30,350 I-I like the briquettes... 151 00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:31,850 But, uh, some of these items 152 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,050 strike me as being a little impractical. 153 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,680 Aw, dad, dad, trust me. 154 00:06:35,710 --> 00:06:37,480 I have got my finger on the pulse 155 00:06:37,510 --> 00:06:39,780 of the contemporary American teenager. 156 00:06:39,810 --> 00:06:41,780 Oh. I almost forgot. 157 00:06:41,810 --> 00:06:44,450 Class of '84 monocles. 158 00:06:46,450 --> 00:06:47,710 We are going to sell 159 00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:49,010 boatloads of these babies! 160 00:06:49,050 --> 00:06:52,080 In any case, I think I'll resist the urge 161 00:06:52,110 --> 00:06:54,250 to put a down payment on a summer house. 162 00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:57,810 Where's Mallory? 163 00:06:57,850 --> 00:06:59,510 She's supposed to do the dinner dishes. 164 00:06:59,550 --> 00:07:01,050 She said she'll do them later. 165 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,450 She's upstairs helping grandma get ready for her date. 166 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,550 Grandma's going out again? 167 00:07:05,580 --> 00:07:07,420 That's the third time this week she's gone out. 168 00:07:07,450 --> 00:07:09,610 Yeah, isn't that something? 169 00:07:09,650 --> 00:07:13,150 Over 40 and still active. 170 00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:15,410 A real miracle. 171 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:19,780 You know, Steven, I don't think I like the idea of... 172 00:07:19,810 --> 00:07:20,950 Elyse. Ely... 173 00:07:22,380 --> 00:07:24,550 I said I wasn't gonna interfere, and I won't. 174 00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:26,010 Now, are you sure you don't mind 175 00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:28,350 my borrowing your necklace, Mallory? 176 00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:30,480 Of course not, grandma. I think it looks great on you. 177 00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:32,580 You wouldn't lie to an old lady, would you? 178 00:07:32,610 --> 00:07:35,180 I don't know any old ladies. 179 00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:36,710 Grandma, you look so pretty. 180 00:07:36,750 --> 00:07:38,010 Thank you. 181 00:07:38,050 --> 00:07:40,010 Mom, if you think I'm gonna let you leave the house 182 00:07:40,050 --> 00:07:42,310 looking like that, you are sadly mistaken. 183 00:07:44,310 --> 00:07:45,850 Well, what's wrong with the way I look? 184 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,180 Nothing. You look great! 185 00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:49,380 Thank you. 186 00:07:49,410 --> 00:07:50,380 Mom, don't you think that dress 187 00:07:50,410 --> 00:07:51,380 is just a little too... 188 00:07:51,410 --> 00:07:52,510 Too... 189 00:07:52,550 --> 00:07:54,050 Too what? 190 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,010 Too red? 191 00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:58,810 No, I think it's just the right amount of red. 192 00:07:58,850 --> 00:08:00,250 Ooh. 193 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,510 That's Phillip. 194 00:08:01,550 --> 00:08:02,650 How do I look? 195 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,250 Never mind! 196 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:05,880 I'll get it, grandma. 197 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:09,310 Hi, how are you doing? 198 00:08:09,350 --> 00:08:10,810 You must be my grandmother's date. 199 00:08:10,850 --> 00:08:12,350 You mean to tell me that ravishing woman 200 00:08:12,380 --> 00:08:13,610 is a grandmother? 201 00:08:13,650 --> 00:08:15,610 I can't believe it. 202 00:08:15,650 --> 00:08:16,810 Well, uh, I call her "grandmother." 203 00:08:16,850 --> 00:08:18,550 It's just a term of affection. 204 00:08:22,150 --> 00:08:23,650 Actually, she's my niece. 205 00:08:25,550 --> 00:08:27,580 Come on in here and meet everyone. 206 00:08:27,610 --> 00:08:29,280 Now, don't tell me. 207 00:08:29,310 --> 00:08:31,710 This fine young man is Alex, 208 00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:33,750 and these beautiful creatures 209 00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:36,980 must be Mallory, Jennifer, and Steven. 210 00:08:38,450 --> 00:08:40,080 How do you do? 211 00:08:40,110 --> 00:08:41,680 And this is... 212 00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:42,780 My wife, Elyse. 213 00:08:42,810 --> 00:08:44,150 Elyse! 214 00:08:44,180 --> 00:08:46,210 I've been looking forward to meeting you 215 00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:48,010 for a long time. 216 00:08:48,050 --> 00:08:49,380 How long? 217 00:08:49,410 --> 00:08:51,280 Oh, I see. You want to know how long 218 00:08:51,310 --> 00:08:52,750 I've been seeing your mother? 219 00:08:52,780 --> 00:08:54,710 The question did cross my mind. 220 00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:57,780 Didn't she tell you? In February it'll be 20 years. 221 00:08:57,810 --> 00:09:00,150 20 years?! Behind daddy's back?! 222 00:09:01,810 --> 00:09:03,750 Phillip's my dentist, honey. 223 00:09:03,780 --> 00:09:04,910 Dr. Morgan? 224 00:09:04,950 --> 00:09:06,580 That's right. 225 00:09:06,610 --> 00:09:09,410 Kate's spoken very highly of your root canal. 226 00:09:11,380 --> 00:09:13,910 I try to brush after every meal 227 00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:16,450 and avoid between-meal treats. 228 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,810 And when she doesn't, I remind her. 229 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,210 I'm a bit of a floss man, myself. 230 00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:25,680 Well, tell us a little about yourself, Phillip. 231 00:09:25,710 --> 00:09:26,950 Any children? Three. 232 00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:28,550 Wife? Divorced. 233 00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:29,880 Health? Knock wood. 234 00:09:30,980 --> 00:09:32,480 Plans for the future. 235 00:09:32,510 --> 00:09:35,010 Well, I'm retired, I have plenty of money... 236 00:09:35,050 --> 00:09:38,510 I guess I'll just hang around until I die. 237 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:43,710 When do you think that'll be? 238 00:09:51,950 --> 00:09:53,080 Gin. 239 00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:54,110 Hmm? 240 00:09:54,150 --> 00:09:55,180 I said, "Gin." 241 00:09:55,210 --> 00:09:56,610 Oh, did I win? 242 00:09:58,550 --> 00:09:59,850 I won. 243 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,550 Oh. 244 00:10:01,580 --> 00:10:03,150 What time is it, Steven? 245 00:10:03,180 --> 00:10:05,210 Elyse, I'm sure your mother's fine. 246 00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:06,480 My mother?! 247 00:10:06,510 --> 00:10:08,880 You think I'm staying up because of my mother? 248 00:10:08,910 --> 00:10:11,610 I happen to love this game. That's why I'm staying up. 249 00:10:11,650 --> 00:10:14,910 So just shut up and play poker. 250 00:10:14,950 --> 00:10:17,480 Want to talk about her? 251 00:10:17,510 --> 00:10:19,910 No. I do not want to talk about her. 252 00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:21,880 All right. 253 00:10:21,910 --> 00:10:24,880 I cannot believe she is out on a date. 254 00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:27,980 Phillip looked like a perfect gentleman. 255 00:10:28,010 --> 00:10:31,610 Oh, Steven, you are so naive. 256 00:10:31,650 --> 00:10:35,550 I have read articles about sex and older people. 257 00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:39,550 They retire to these little communities of condominiums. 258 00:10:39,580 --> 00:10:41,880 They... They take folk dancing. 259 00:10:41,910 --> 00:10:43,880 They eat the early-bird special. 260 00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:46,380 Then they all go home to their hot tubs. 261 00:10:46,410 --> 00:10:48,350 There are a lot of grandmas and grandpas 262 00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:51,050 in hot water right now! 263 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,010 Elyse, your mother is a grown woman. 264 00:10:53,050 --> 00:10:55,510 I'm sure she can take care of herself. 265 00:10:55,550 --> 00:10:57,180 She may be a grown woman, Steven, 266 00:10:57,210 --> 00:10:59,180 but she cannot take care of herself. 267 00:10:59,210 --> 00:11:01,650 My father's always protected her! 268 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:03,310 She's been married for 40 years. 269 00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:05,410 What could she know about sex? 270 00:11:09,150 --> 00:11:10,680 You know what I mean. Yeah. 271 00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:14,210 I-I-i am sure she is fine. 272 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,910 It's after midnight. Why hasn't she come home? 273 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:24,550 I think we should go to bed. 274 00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:28,050 I can't. I'm too keyed up to sleep. 275 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,780 Well, maybe, just maybe, 276 00:11:30,810 --> 00:11:32,780 we could think of something else 277 00:11:32,810 --> 00:11:34,950 to, uh... 278 00:11:34,980 --> 00:11:38,110 Pass the time up there. 279 00:11:38,150 --> 00:11:39,750 Hmm? 280 00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:42,550 What, you mean now?! With my mother out?! 281 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,110 We'll tell her about it. 282 00:11:49,410 --> 00:11:51,880 I'm... I'm sorry, Steven. 283 00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:53,750 This whole business with my mother 284 00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:54,980 is really getting to me. 285 00:11:55,010 --> 00:11:57,450 Now, look, Elyse, she is practically a divorced woman. 286 00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:58,650 You have got to accept it. 287 00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:01,310 I could accept it a lot easier 288 00:12:01,350 --> 00:12:04,110 if I didn't have to watch mom go gallivanting off 289 00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:07,380 with the man who told her to rinse and spit for 20 years. 290 00:12:09,350 --> 00:12:10,910 I'll get it. 291 00:12:13,510 --> 00:12:14,880 Hello. 292 00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:17,980 Oh, hi. 293 00:12:18,010 --> 00:12:21,150 Uh, a-all right. Fine. 294 00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:23,650 Uh, oh, I will. Y-you too. 295 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:25,350 Yeah. Bye. 296 00:12:25,380 --> 00:12:26,580 Who was that? 297 00:12:26,610 --> 00:12:28,380 Uh, that was your mother. 298 00:12:28,410 --> 00:12:31,210 Uh, she said they had a wonderful time at the concert, 299 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,180 uh, they stopped for ice cream afterwards, 300 00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:34,910 and, uh... Oh, uh, yeah, 301 00:12:34,950 --> 00:12:36,850 she's, uh, spending the night at Phillip's. 302 00:12:55,810 --> 00:12:57,880 That's her! She's home! Ow! 303 00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:01,150 Just where have you been?! 304 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,610 I was next door at the Obecks'. 305 00:13:08,650 --> 00:13:10,410 You see, that's how the route goes... 306 00:13:10,450 --> 00:13:11,850 Obecks, Keatons, Handelmans. 307 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:13,950 Fine, fine. You're doing a good job. 308 00:13:13,980 --> 00:13:15,510 Keep up the good work. 309 00:13:15,550 --> 00:13:17,180 As long as I have you here, Mrs. Keaton, 310 00:13:17,210 --> 00:13:20,680 could I interest you in our new line of yogurt products? 311 00:13:20,710 --> 00:13:22,510 Have a nice day! 312 00:13:22,550 --> 00:13:24,580 Who was... Who was at the door? 313 00:13:24,610 --> 00:13:26,250 The milkman. How is he? 314 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:27,910 Who cares? 315 00:13:29,010 --> 00:13:30,210 There she is! 316 00:13:44,710 --> 00:13:47,410 She kissed him right in front of us! 317 00:13:47,450 --> 00:13:50,750 They weren't in front of us until you opened the door. 318 00:13:54,110 --> 00:13:57,810 Elyse, why did you open the door just then? 319 00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:01,680 I-I heard the key. I thought you were the milkman. 320 00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,680 You gave the milkman the key? 321 00:14:05,410 --> 00:14:07,410 Mom... 322 00:14:07,450 --> 00:14:09,210 Just where have you been? 323 00:14:09,250 --> 00:14:11,010 What? 324 00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:17,110 I said, "where have you been?" 325 00:14:17,150 --> 00:14:20,250 That's what I thought you said. 326 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:23,550 And the answer is, "what business is it of yours?" 327 00:14:26,780 --> 00:14:28,750 Well, we've got a big day ahead of us. 328 00:14:31,610 --> 00:14:33,050 Gotta get our sleep. 329 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,080 It's only 6:15. 330 00:14:34,110 --> 00:14:36,250 You're only gonna have 45 minutes. 331 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,910 Well, that sounds like more than enough. 332 00:14:38,950 --> 00:14:40,380 Are you coming up? 333 00:14:40,410 --> 00:14:43,780 No, mom and I have some things to talk about. I'll be up. 334 00:14:43,810 --> 00:14:45,280 All right, but all I'll wait is half an hour, 335 00:14:45,310 --> 00:14:46,980 then I've got to get to sleep. 336 00:14:49,950 --> 00:14:52,710 I don't get my 15 minutes a day, I'm worthless. 337 00:14:59,180 --> 00:15:01,550 Now, do you mind telling me what this is all about? 338 00:15:01,580 --> 00:15:03,650 I've had a very busy evening, 339 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,180 and I'd like to get some rest. 340 00:15:05,210 --> 00:15:07,910 Well, if you would come home at a decent hour, 341 00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:11,250 you wouldn't be so tired now. 342 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,180 If I'd come home at a decent hour, 343 00:15:13,210 --> 00:15:15,910 I would have had to spend the evening arguing with you 344 00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:17,610 about the divorce. 345 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:20,310 Oh, so rather than talk with your only daughter, 346 00:15:20,350 --> 00:15:23,050 you'd rather soak in some man's hot tub?! 347 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:26,410 We did not soak in any hot tub. 348 00:15:26,450 --> 00:15:29,880 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. 349 00:15:29,910 --> 00:15:31,880 The hot tub was too crowded. 350 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,710 We went in the sauna. 351 00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:39,850 Maybe we'll use the hot tub next time. 352 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:44,110 Just what did you and this tooth-jockey do tonight? 353 00:15:44,150 --> 00:15:47,480 I am not going to subject myself to these questions. 354 00:15:47,510 --> 00:15:50,480 I'm a mature adult capable of taking care of my own life, 355 00:15:50,510 --> 00:15:53,080 and I'm going to do so whether you like it or not. 356 00:15:53,110 --> 00:15:54,450 Come to think of it, 357 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:57,150 I remember you saying the exact same thing to me 358 00:15:57,180 --> 00:15:59,050 about 20 years ago. 359 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,580 Wait... just tell me, after all these years, 360 00:16:01,610 --> 00:16:05,310 how can you just go out on dates and be with men? 361 00:16:05,350 --> 00:16:08,710 Well, to tell you the truth, it isn't easy... 362 00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:11,710 But it's all coming back to me. 363 00:16:15,380 --> 00:16:17,010 Good morning. 364 00:16:17,050 --> 00:16:19,180 Look, Steven, we have a very serious problem on our hands 365 00:16:19,210 --> 00:16:20,680 here with my mother. 366 00:16:20,710 --> 00:16:22,150 I'm trying to figure a few things out. 367 00:16:22,180 --> 00:16:23,810 If you don't mind, I'd rather not 368 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:26,050 be diverted by your idle chatter. 369 00:16:31,110 --> 00:16:33,650 Sorry I rambled on like that. 370 00:16:35,310 --> 00:16:36,580 It's okay. 371 00:16:39,780 --> 00:16:41,650 Did you and your mother talk? 372 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,850 You... you always take her side, don't you? 373 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:46,910 What? 374 00:16:46,950 --> 00:16:48,210 Well, admit it, 375 00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:50,210 y-you've always liked my mother, haven't you? 376 00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:52,980 All right, I confess. I do. 377 00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:56,250 Sorry, Alex, it's just not going to work! 378 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,810 Aw, come on, Jennifer. How do you know until you try? 379 00:16:58,850 --> 00:17:01,080 Some things you just know. 380 00:17:01,110 --> 00:17:02,350 What's the problem? 381 00:17:02,380 --> 00:17:05,280 Alex wants me to sell his class of '84 moustache wax 382 00:17:05,310 --> 00:17:07,380 to the 5th grade. 383 00:17:08,850 --> 00:17:10,650 Come on, Jennifer, Jennifer! Jennifer, look. 384 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,650 I told you, I'm willing to give you half the profits. 385 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,650 Hey, wait a minute. 386 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,850 I thought I was getting half the profits. 387 00:17:22,550 --> 00:17:25,310 Um... 388 00:17:25,350 --> 00:17:28,080 The dream is dead, pop. 389 00:17:28,110 --> 00:17:30,810 Sales haven't been good? 390 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,380 Sales haven't been. 391 00:17:33,410 --> 00:17:35,450 Nothing? 392 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:38,880 Well, yeah, I sold a bottle of class of '84 suntan lotion 393 00:17:38,910 --> 00:17:40,410 to Mallory's friend Carla. 394 00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:42,150 It was, uh... 395 00:17:42,180 --> 00:17:44,710 $1.30 total profit. 396 00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:46,310 Here's your 65 cents. 397 00:17:49,550 --> 00:17:52,350 This was once $100, Alex. 398 00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,480 Alex, Carla wants her money back from that suntan lotion 399 00:17:59,510 --> 00:18:02,050 you sold her! It turned her skin green! 400 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:08,650 No way, Mallory. She knew the risks. 401 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,380 I told her there was a possibility 402 00:18:10,410 --> 00:18:12,110 of that happening. 403 00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:13,650 Dad? 404 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:17,210 Well, just how green did she turn? 405 00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:19,810 Dad! 406 00:18:23,810 --> 00:18:25,110 Good morning, mom. 407 00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:26,680 Morning, Elyse. Kate. 408 00:18:26,710 --> 00:18:29,350 Morning, grandma. Sleep well? 409 00:18:29,380 --> 00:18:30,480 Not really, Jennifer. 410 00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:32,550 Not at all. 411 00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:33,880 What? 412 00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:35,410 Nothing. 413 00:18:35,450 --> 00:18:38,210 Don't do that, Elyse. You're being very childish. 414 00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:40,110 Oh, I'm being childish. 415 00:18:40,150 --> 00:18:42,250 That's funny. Ha ha ha. 416 00:18:44,110 --> 00:18:46,210 So, grandma, how was your date? 417 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,680 Oh, very nice, thank you. 418 00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,580 How'd the necklace go over? Did Phillip like it? 419 00:18:50,610 --> 00:18:52,550 Yes, thank you, he did. 420 00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:55,050 Oh, I must have left the necklace at his house. 421 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,810 I'm sorry. 422 00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:02,290 I tend to get a little butterfingered 423 00:19:02,310 --> 00:19:03,850 while I'm morally outraged. 424 00:19:07,350 --> 00:19:08,610 Excuse me. Oh, Kate. 425 00:19:08,650 --> 00:19:10,650 Don't... 426 00:19:18,180 --> 00:19:20,850 Goodbye, Steven. 427 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,780 Kate, what are you doing? 428 00:19:22,810 --> 00:19:24,850 I'm not going to stay here and be insulted 429 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,610 by that woman you married. Oh, come on. 430 00:19:26,650 --> 00:19:29,080 Come on. 431 00:19:29,110 --> 00:19:30,510 Kate, pl... 432 00:19:30,550 --> 00:19:31,910 Sit... sit down. 433 00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:33,080 Please. Please. 434 00:19:33,110 --> 00:19:34,210 Sit. 435 00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:35,250 Sit down. 436 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,280 Look. 437 00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:40,050 Uh, I know Elyse has been, uh... 438 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,980 A little irrational lately. 439 00:19:42,010 --> 00:19:44,750 A little irrational? 440 00:19:44,780 --> 00:19:48,410 All right, in some states she'd be put away, but... 441 00:19:48,450 --> 00:19:50,550 You've got to understand, 442 00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:52,710 divorce is always tough on the children. 443 00:19:57,350 --> 00:19:59,050 Uh... 444 00:20:14,650 --> 00:20:17,450 So, here we are... 445 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:20,050 Mother, daughter... 446 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:23,480 Husband, son-in-law... 447 00:20:23,510 --> 00:20:25,280 Just the four of us. 448 00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:32,750 Well, maybe, uh... Maybe I'll be off to work now. 449 00:20:32,780 --> 00:20:34,280 I-I-if it's okay with the two of you... 450 00:20:34,310 --> 00:20:35,310 Go.Go. 451 00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:40,450 Elyse, I'm furious with you. 452 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:41,850 You're mad at me? 453 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,210 I'm not the one who stayed out all night. 454 00:20:44,250 --> 00:20:47,080 Why are you having a harder time 455 00:20:47,110 --> 00:20:49,580 accepting this divorce than I am? 456 00:20:49,610 --> 00:20:51,550 It's not right! 457 00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:53,380 It's unnatural! 458 00:20:53,410 --> 00:20:56,810 There are some things in this world that you can count on. 459 00:20:56,850 --> 00:20:58,710 The sun comes up in the morning, 460 00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:01,250 it's hard to whistle with crackers in your mouth, 461 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:04,250 and my mom and dad do not get divorced! 462 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,610 Elyse, you're going to have to get used to it. 463 00:21:06,650 --> 00:21:08,350 You had a great marriage. 464 00:21:08,380 --> 00:21:11,350 We had a great family. Everybody said so. 465 00:21:11,380 --> 00:21:12,680 Was it all a lie? 466 00:21:13,210 --> 00:21:14,980 Look, we did have a good marriage. 467 00:21:15,010 --> 00:21:17,680 We grew apart. It happens. 468 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:20,310 But it doesn't erase the wonderful years 469 00:21:20,350 --> 00:21:22,210 we had together. 470 00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:25,580 I want my family back. 471 00:21:25,610 --> 00:21:27,880 Oh, honey. 472 00:21:28,510 --> 00:21:29,750 It's so scary. 473 00:21:29,780 --> 00:21:31,750 If... if you and dad can break up, 474 00:21:31,780 --> 00:21:34,180 that can happen to anybody. 475 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:35,550 It could happen to me. 476 00:21:35,580 --> 00:21:38,650 No, I don't think it'll ever happen to you. 477 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,480 Charlie and I were husband and wife for 40 years, 478 00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:46,550 but somehow we never became real friends. 479 00:21:48,010 --> 00:21:50,180 You and Steven are friends. 480 00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:55,450 Don't you miss dad... A little? 481 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,310 Of course I do. 482 00:21:58,350 --> 00:22:01,310 There are a lot of things about your father that I miss. 483 00:22:01,350 --> 00:22:02,450 Like what? 484 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,780 Oh, little things. 485 00:22:04,810 --> 00:22:07,180 Like the way he used to wake me up in the morning. 486 00:22:07,210 --> 00:22:08,650 How? 487 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,450 He used to lean over and yell, 488 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,750 "swimmers, take your marks!" 489 00:22:12,780 --> 00:22:16,050 And then he'd shoot off a little toy cap pistol. 490 00:22:19,250 --> 00:22:20,650 You miss that? 491 00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:22,450 I never overslept. 492 00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:27,580 You know, Elyse... 493 00:22:27,610 --> 00:22:31,050 I've always belonged to someone else. 494 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,410 Charlie Donnelly's wife. 495 00:22:33,450 --> 00:22:34,880 Elyse's mother. 496 00:22:34,910 --> 00:22:36,780 Ned's mother. 497 00:22:36,810 --> 00:22:40,280 Never just me, Kate. 498 00:22:40,310 --> 00:22:44,280 This is a very difficult time for me. 499 00:22:45,310 --> 00:22:48,310 I guess I haven't made it any easier for you, have I? 500 00:22:48,350 --> 00:22:51,450 I really need your support, honey. 501 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:54,050 I need to feel you're behind me. 502 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,610 Oh, I am, mom. 503 00:22:56,650 --> 00:22:58,180 I'm sorry. 504 00:23:01,210 --> 00:23:02,680 Will you stay? 505 00:23:02,710 --> 00:23:04,680 Of course I'll stay. 506 00:23:08,650 --> 00:23:10,550 You're gonna continue dating, though, huh? 507 00:23:10,580 --> 00:23:12,010 Yep. 508 00:23:13,250 --> 00:23:15,410 Okay. 509 00:23:15,450 --> 00:23:17,610 No slow-dancing on the first date. 510 00:23:18,950 --> 00:23:21,110 No coming in after 10:00 on school nights. 511 00:23:21,150 --> 00:23:22,710 "School nights." 512 00:23:22,750 --> 00:23:26,150 Two feet on the ground at all times. 513 00:23:26,180 --> 00:23:29,750 If you're out with someone who's drunk too much, you call me.